Breathing

I’m not sure if it was a night spent under the sky watching hundreds of shooting stars, evenings just watching sunsets

lazy afternoons lounging the hammock that Toph surprised us all with, spending time with my animals

but I am feeling immensely better….it could also just be that my therapist is no longer on vacation and I have been bumped back up to therapy every week which I believe was much needed.

These last two weeks I haven’t pushed myself, I haven’t gotten angry with myself when something doesn’t go as planned. I’m a worried about things…the serious lack of rain yes, but it’s out of my control. So now I just take it one day at a time.

I’ve been occupying myself looking through boxes my oldest paternal sister sent my way, old letters, a journal my great grandmother kept when she was 12 lived in Paris for a year. Odds and ends, beautiful jewelry boxes filled with beautiful treasures

I pulled myself from my house for a trip that had nothing to do with grocery shopping or swimming in the river. Not five minutes from here is a thrift store, filled with odds and ends and lots of books. They were having a sale on old books and I knew if I went first thing in the morning there would be very few, if any people there, so off I went…in search of books you know 😉 and came back with more

Just different things here and there, I like old books and lamps. I love old blue china though until my kids are grown or I have a china cabinet, I don’t dare buy any for fear they will be accidentally broken. There for instead of spending $15 old the cup I really wanted, I settled for a $2 cup that is still equally beautiful…just not newer and less like to hurt if it is somehow broken.

We have had a house some guests recently, no matter how many times I send them out the door, they continue to turn around and come back in.

I don’t mind, I do love dragonflies.

I’ve added new knitting books to my collection recently, as well as some new knitting needles

Working on mittens with my brand new ChiaoGoo needles
And then this one, that just had my name written all over it.

I’m hoping, though with normal expectations, that life continues to carry on this way before anymore big changes happen. I just need to continue to breath.

Have a great week folks!

And another

Well it is the New Year, not sure what to make of 2020 right now. Things that are happening all over the world, are incredibly scary. If any of you crafters out there are interested there are some groups out there that are in need of items for the animals that have been rescued in Australia

The Animal Rescue Guild has information regarding items that are needed, drop off locations people can send items together so it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, and in their files section there are some patterns for items needed.

Heist Jewellery AU also has information regarding patterns and drop off locations as well.

I hope people will consider helping out.

Normally when I mention things like the above I end my post with that, however I’m trying to kick myself in the butt and keep writing and if I don’t write a normal post well, you won’t see anything else for who knows how long.

I wasn’t sure if I intended to post about therapy but I want you to all know what is going on with me right now, as I am struggling with getting better.

Today I started with my new therapist and was given a diagnoses of chronic ptsd. I don’t know what to make of that and I don’t know how much of that I will be sharing to be honest. I’ve sadly witnessed people tear other people down over ptsd before, because when most people think of ptsd they think of a solider in the war. So they assume that if you fighting in a war then you couldn’t have it.

Mine does not come from a war, but rather an abusive childhood. There was a lot of physical, mental, and emotional abuse at the hands of my mother. I had done so well to just “keep calm and carry on” for most of my life, I kept my children away from toxic situations, and helped shield them from things.

However, as previously stated in past blogs, I have not been able to move on from finding out that my dad was not my biological father. Due to this it caused issues with my maternal family, support systems were damaged and everything just fell apart. Now I’m just trying move forward.

I saw this meme and along with release, this is five things I hope will change in 2020.

So exhale now that, THAT is out of the way. Here are a few crafty things I’ve finished, started, and put aside 🙄😒

I finished a blanket

I started Griffin socks or Dragon’s egg socks as they are listed on Ravelry, though in the book Knitting Wizardry they are referred to as Griffin socks

They have been recently set aside so that I might work on a few items for the group I mentioned above.

I had an idea last month, of how I could pick what pattern to work on. I never know which to choose and I am trying to use up my stash so that all I have left are my own hand spun yarns. I have a variety of tv shows/movies I like to watch and knitting books and magazines to go along with said shows.

So I used the app Spin The Wheel to help me decide what theme I would be going with, from there I spin for a pattern of them theme it lands on above. That way I can work my way through my patterns while watching the shows and movies. I was hoping to add Downton Abbey to the list but I’m having a hard time finding a copy of The Best of Downton Abbey Pattern Collection, it appears to be out of stock everywhere.

Knitting Wizardry

Highland Knits

Once Upon a Knit

Enchanted Knits

Jane Austen Knits

I am hoping this will help me use up my stash and help me branch out when it comes to knitting.

Thank you all for your patience while I’m trying to figure out how to fix my current situation in life.

Have a great evening folks!