I’m here

Thank you for all the kind words, I am back and feeling better. I’ve been able to get my anxiety under control. Still dealing with family situations but I am working through things and plugging along.

I was able to finish the baby blanket for my best friend

And started another present for when baby boy comes along

My best friend and her husband own a bowling alley, I found this to be fitting πŸ˜‚

I’ve finished spinning up my shades of blue yarn

I started my Halloween costume

cleaned up messes. This was huge for me, I always have a hard time keeping my craft room tidy, I’ve been given a lot of fabric over the years and well I’ve had to put a stop to it. I need to use all of this before I can take anymore.

We’ve started making signs for art class

And finally, after almost two years. I broke out my sewing machine

Its good to be back, it’s good to heal through creativity.

Have a great weekend folks!

Let’s get real

I have been on a journey this year, some of it I mentioned on here this past spring, but I did not go into how much it affected my daily life. I feel like when I talked about it I brushed off the emotions and what I went through and have been mentally going through…I made it sound as if it was all okay.

We are going to get real here, because the anxiety and breakdowns have kept me from writing.

Last March my whole life changed when I found out that my dad wasn’t my birth father, I went from having two half sisters to five half sisters and three half brothers (+three step brothers if I really wanted to make it all crazy 😝) somedays I am just fine, I can go through my daily life as though nothing has changed…as long as I am busy enough.

When I was working, I was too focused on what was going on at work and that is where my head was, it was perfect. Then summer happened and it was discussed that I was absolutely needed more at home, and while I tried to keep myself busy at home, my mind always wandered.

Kids, gardening, audiobooks, spinning, knitting, crocheting…one would think those things would be easy to keep my brain busy, but it didn’t work. I’ve had many days of being fine and then randomly breaking down and crying, panic and anxiety attacks. My brain never stops thinking about the situation. I worry about my dad, I am sadden that I will never meet my biological dad as he passed years ago.

Aside from the mental and emotional aspect of it, I find myself being shunned by certain members of my maternal family, I have one family member in particular trying to ban me from family events, simply for accidentally finding out the truth.

I didn’t do this test excepting to find out about this, I was trying to continue to build my family tree, get passed road blocks, and as I previously mentioned find out if my third great grandmother came from Spain or New Hampshire.

However, I do feel like I am slowly getting better. My new siblings have welcomed me and I’ve spent many days at the beach with my oldest sister, my niece, and my grand niece and nephew this summer. I’ve found a support group online, full of other people going through the same thing and it has very much helped me.

I’ve also recently joined a group where you heal through creativity and I am hoping that it will help me get up and work on things ( I haven’t touched my sewing machine since finding out). So please bear with me, the lack of posts, and know that I daily I am wanting to come and write, I might just not be emotionally okay I’m those days.

I hope you all have a great weekend, my heart goes out to those affected by the hurricane. Please stay safe.

Home

We are home from our trip, still without answers, unsure of what we want to do….not that’s half a lie, I’m pretty sure I want to stay in New Hampshire, I love the seasons, I love the snow, the cool air, this is home. Toph is still unsure, has talked of us going back down with the kid’s, dogs, cat, fish, and ferret and staying for three months to get a feel and then decide.

We will see, it is beautiful down there but too hot at the same time.

On our first full day we arrived in Amish Country PA

Homemade root beer was purchased

We went on a tour and though I haven’t worked with horses for 20 years, I was complimented by a nice Amish man on how well I handled his team. He didn’t seem to believe me when I told how I grew up on a farm, but driving the horses back to the tour area he looked at me and said “Oh wow, you have done this before!”

We stopped at several beautiful shops and me being me, well…

Wool was a must (then I came home to a greater surprise when my friend down the road gifted me with a 55 gallon trash bag full of alpaca.)

On day two we found ourselves in Virginia, we drove on the Skyline Highway

Went on a 7.9 mile hike

Where we made a friend

Virginia is truly a beautiful state

We stopped overnight in Tennessee before heading to North Carolina to stay with family for a night.

We went on another hike and met another friend

This one did not want to leave the trail, didn’t care that we were there (the other deer was a bit skittish).

We headed back to Virginia and toward the destination of the childhood home of the creator of one of my favorite shows

The museum is set up in the former high school in Schuyler Virginia, just down the road you will find the Hamner house and a little further down the road is a shop that is little gift shop where I purchased a book that was (maybe) signed by Earl Hamner Jr.

I very much enjoyed the little town, it was beautiful and the museum was perfect! Everything at the gift shop was beautiful and affordable. I highly recommend visiting.

The last day in Virginia was spent in Swoope, we have previously been here to visit Joel Salatin from Polyface farm, unfortunately we got there right after closing but it was worth the excursion.

My favorite place at the end of the trip was of course home, sitting around the fire, watching the sunset and enjoying the sound of the critters.

Have a great day folks!

What season is it?

With the chilly weather outside, one could hardly believe that it is almost summer time, the bugs, flowers, and allergies are here, but we have been lacking the warmth from the sunshine.

I’ve found ways to distract myself though, in the form of canning and you guessed it, spinning.

For the first time ever I have canned some jelly/honey like concoction from lilacs

More like honey, less like jelly. A little of both but not at the same time. We enjoy it though.

I love lilacs, my grandmother’s loved lilacs as well and each year I look forward to smelling their sweet scent in the air.

I’m really enjoying my new wheel, it’s so smooth and easy to use.

This is Doodle/Romney blend I spun up for a friend who lost her pooch a while back.

This is a Polworth/Silk blend that I dyed myself

Thoughts of the beach were my inspiration for the colors

Around this time however I started to realize the sad truth about my wheel…or my bobbin per say. It can only hold so much yarn, that would not do.

So I placed an order and while I awaited for my parcel, I spun up this beautiful chocolate mint Shetland/Merino combo.

The super flyer kit was exactly what I needed for my wheel

It’s huge and will hold a 500gms of yarn compared to the smaller bobbin that only holds 130gm.

I can also make bulky yarn now if I chose to!

With my order came this lovely merino wool to sample

Shades of blues and grays

I hope your day is more sunny than gray wherever you are!

Have a great day folks!

Hello May

First I just wanted to say, that I am not disappointed about the snow that is supposed to arrive tomorrow. Yes, I know it’s spring, I can’t help it.

I am however worried about these little creatures

Hopefully they will stay nice and warm under the heat lamp.

I would also very much like to get these veggies in the garden

May is here and along with it a birthday (My 35th 😳), Mother’s Day, and well, a weekend that I can compare to Christmas.

Yes folks that’s right, New Hampshire Sheep and Wool! I went alone this year but was specifically told that I was not allowed to bring home any animals…and believe me, there were a few for sale, so I very well could have.

Instead I had to settle for sheep and alpaca cuddles, browsing all the fine wool and yarns, and of course I purchased three fleeces

Cotswold, though I just realized I still have a pound from last year I haven’t even touched (whoops!), Finn which is a new one for me, and then coopworth 😍, I also purchased a new bobbin for my wheel and believe it or not I actually came home with cash.

Yesterday for Mother’s Day was spent shivering under layers and layers of fleece sweaters, though it got up to 57, the sun never came out to say hello. My mother in law and I spent our day working on my walkway

I am not the best gardener, almost all the flowers on my property were planted by the previous owner who won awards for gardens. Thankfully they are almost effortless to maintain. My mother in law use to work at a nursery and is very helpful, helping me get flowers that are low maintenance.

Last week I purchased some beautiful merino and silk roving from Port Fiber over in Portland Maine, every time I go there I make sure to stop in a peruse all of the beautiful fibers Casey has in her shop. (If you are a fan of Taproot, they are less than two minutes down the road)

I was on a mission as soon as I purchased this wool, I knew the exact colors I wanted to dye this wool and holy moly…I’m blown away!

I have to finish the doodle/romney blend I am spinning up for a friend and then I will start spinning this up, I took a short five minute class at the Sheep and Wool Festival and was taught how to spin my yarn just a little thicker, so I have high hopes for this yarn!

Speaking of homespun

The Bandana cowl is finally complete, I need to give it a soak in something (I don’t know what) to soften it up, but I am a happy camper.

Have a great day folks, and for all you snow lovers in Maine and New Hampshire, enjoy!

Let’s get real

Often times I wonder, am I sharing too much about personal things? Sometimes I turn the death of a loved one into a PSA about reason why you shouldn’t drink and drive, or I’ve written about struggles with food allergies and why they should be taken seriously.

Today I’m going to do it again, however this time it’s not a PSA but a new discovery in my life that happened recently (last week), I wanted to talk about this because I’m sure I’m going to have plenty of entries talking about new stuff and well here is the reason.

It all began last spring when I took the ancestrydna test, I wanted to learn more about where my family came from, I wanted to learn about every piece of my heritage, read about the countries and learn about their traditions, maybe even add some into my life.

A few things showed up and to be honest my reaction was “I’m part Icelandic? That’s so cool”, “Not, what?! Where did this come from?!”

Then they started to do dna matching, most names I recognized…and then a lot I didn’t. I got matched to a first cousin who I had never met before, I’m thinking someone in the family had a baby and gave it up for adoption, that was until I realized that this cousin was the same age as all my aunts and uncles.

I started asking questions and no one knew about this person. I started talking to this person and who last Monday put me in contact with a few more people and that is when I discovered that not only did I have a different biological father than my father who raised me, but I also have SIX half siblings.

Now my biological father passed in 2010, but I have been talking to four old my new half siblings, I’ve met three of them, and they have all been very welcoming. It’s been a very weird and overwhelming and anxious experience and well I just went from two half sisters to FIVE half sisters and three brothers.

I am thankful that I have had the support from my husband and kids during this, also my mother’s side as well as all the aunts and uncles from my dads side. Most of all I am thankful that even though it was an uncomfortable five minutes talking to my dad about what I found, we have carried on like normal, because I am his daughter and he is my father.

So this might be too much, but I wanted to share this news with you all because as I said, I will most likely be talking about this more or talking of new siblings.

Have a great day folks

This could take awhile

I absolutely love my new wheel

I spun up 1/4 lb of this lovely blue merino and thought “How lovely would it be to ply this with a brown?”

The idea sounded amazing in my mind, however I don’t have a lot of brown wool to spin up. I have a love of white wool because I love dying yarn, but out of all my wool I only have 1 brown fleece….that while washed it still has some VM in it. Somehow this was overlooked that time I washed several fleeces in one week πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

I tried many ways to clean some of these wool, picking stuff out by hand, using the wool picker, using the combs, the hand carders, and drum carders.

This is entirely 100% my fault. I should have took better care in the summer and taken my time. Not that it will go to waste, this will be stuffed into whatever toy I make next.

What did work was the hand picking, drum carding, wool combing combination but by the time I got to that point my hands hurt due to some cross contamination I got Thursday before last. Once the salve starts to kick in again, I am going to try the combination again, I could of course always dye some white wool but what is the fun in that?

Have a great day folks!